 Why should I go to Canada when it feels like I'm about to die horribly?
Well... for lots of very good reasons. Most importantly, for my future freedom and loveliness.
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 I don't want to write this. If I write it then I have to do it (which isn't true), I might have to do it. I shouldn't write it. Damn it, I will.
This is the beginning of the Great Dating Challenge 2012. 'What?', I hear you ask. Well, my body is very afraid of men. It's a big part of wanting to stay inside. Somewhere in my body is a sentence carved in stone saying 'men hurt'. Well no more. I have a hammer and chisel and I'm not afraid to use them. I have joined a dating site.  It's tough. So tough sometimes I have to shout, 'Come on you lion!' Flashbacks come in bits and pieces; a pain in my side, spasms in my tum that have me juddering in a little ball, a wet sound that has me sobbing into my rice pudding, or just a wrong smell that flavours my banana and the water I swig afterwards to wash it away.
All the senses hold memories and they hardly ever make sense. Of course I avoided them, they hurt like hell. But what if stepping outside the front door is a trigger? What if doing new things is a trigger? Avoiding triggers can make a person a hermit. But, and this is a big BUT, there is another way. | AuthorFrida Bird is a writer of fiction, non-fiction, screenplay and poetry. She is also a keen wildlife photographer, which can be frustrating given that she is GIANT and wears a red coat. Complex PTSD - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - An anxiety disorder that can develop after trauma.
EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprogramming - a technique to help process memories or flashbacks. ArchivesJune 2012 CategoriesAll |
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