I don't want to write this. If I write it then I have to do it (which isn't true), I might have to do it. I shouldn't write it. Damn it, I will.
This is the beginning of the Great Dating Challenge 2012. 'What?', I hear you ask. Well, my body is very afraid of men. It's a big part of wanting to stay inside. Somewhere in my body is a sentence carved in stone saying 'men hurt'. Well no more. I have a hammer and chisel and I'm not afraid to use them. I have joined a dating site.
This is the beginning of the Great Dating Challenge 2012. 'What?', I hear you ask. Well, my body is very afraid of men. It's a big part of wanting to stay inside. Somewhere in my body is a sentence carved in stone saying 'men hurt'. Well no more. I have a hammer and chisel and I'm not afraid to use them. I have joined a dating site.
The journey so far. I freaked out when I was doing my dating profile because it meant I would encounter men at some point in the future - I did EMDR and got through the flashbacks. I started talking to men online - oh jesus christ - I did EMDR and got through the flashbacks. And here I am now. Talking about meeting men in the future - oh jesus christ - and doing EMDR and getting through the flashbacks. HAMMER AND CHISEL.
Luckily, (or not so, we shall see), I had a pretty good response. It's a learning curve. Through my mish mash of logic I have rejected the men who've sent me photographs of themselves stood in their pants. I have also dismissed the ones stood next to other people's sports cars, holding other people's babies and holding their stomachs in as they point to their helicopters. What do men think women want? I have also dismissed the ones who specify they want someone 'without baggage, who isn't crazy and didn't just rip out their heart and chew on it like their last girlfriend.' That leaves quite a few.
Two are promising. An ecologist and a tree surgeon. Quite handsome. One has a beard and I like beards - oh jesus christ - I'm doing EMDR and getting through the flashbacks. I shall keep you posted. I'm meeting the tree surgeon for an online chat tomorrow night - oh jesus christ - I'm doing EMDR.
Luckily, (or not so, we shall see), I had a pretty good response. It's a learning curve. Through my mish mash of logic I have rejected the men who've sent me photographs of themselves stood in their pants. I have also dismissed the ones stood next to other people's sports cars, holding other people's babies and holding their stomachs in as they point to their helicopters. What do men think women want? I have also dismissed the ones who specify they want someone 'without baggage, who isn't crazy and didn't just rip out their heart and chew on it like their last girlfriend.' That leaves quite a few.
Two are promising. An ecologist and a tree surgeon. Quite handsome. One has a beard and I like beards - oh jesus christ - I'm doing EMDR and getting through the flashbacks. I shall keep you posted. I'm meeting the tree surgeon for an online chat tomorrow night - oh jesus christ - I'm doing EMDR.
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