I phoned the tree surgeon. I really did. I did it after my evening tai chi class and I went to the beach to do it. Then I could say I was at the beach and be immediately attractive. It didn't quite go as planned.
He didn't answer. It was a bit of an anticlimax after all the revving up to get it done. He texted me a couple of days later asking who'd called him. I hadn't left a message and I'd forgotten to hide my number which was a bit foolish. Then he messaged me saying he'd been asleep. I messaged him and he said he was off to work. It's not very romantic. I'm certainly not being wooed. So as scary as being wooed is, I definitely want it to happen.
This stage of the challenge can be very confusing, when the compulsion to avoid is at its strongest. This is the time when the brain comes up with lots of reasonable sounding tricks to stay inside. Still, I'm not abandoning the challenge just the tree surgeon. I want to be wooed.
I'm talking to a new possible. He's another writer and buddhist like me so he's up for meeting cool people and seeing if there's a spark (not the having sex with someone to see if there's a spark type, which freaks me out). He does martial arts too which is sexy. Oo saying that word is giving me heebeegeebees, my hearts stiffened up.
I've noticed in my email conversations people go very quickly to the lets meet up part. I'm doing OK with the messaging bit, the meeting bit is what's scaring me. So I'm backing off when they want to meet and a lot of the conversations are piddling out. I'm going to have to leap at some stage, just grit my teeth and say 'yes'. That will be the challenge. Stay safe - don't give out my details, and meet where my brother can hang around in the background, but leap at the same time. Yes, definitely leap. Yes, definitely this time say yes. Ahhhh.
This stage of the challenge can be very confusing, when the compulsion to avoid is at its strongest. This is the time when the brain comes up with lots of reasonable sounding tricks to stay inside. Still, I'm not abandoning the challenge just the tree surgeon. I want to be wooed.
I'm talking to a new possible. He's another writer and buddhist like me so he's up for meeting cool people and seeing if there's a spark (not the having sex with someone to see if there's a spark type, which freaks me out). He does martial arts too which is sexy. Oo saying that word is giving me heebeegeebees, my hearts stiffened up.
I've noticed in my email conversations people go very quickly to the lets meet up part. I'm doing OK with the messaging bit, the meeting bit is what's scaring me. So I'm backing off when they want to meet and a lot of the conversations are piddling out. I'm going to have to leap at some stage, just grit my teeth and say 'yes'. That will be the challenge. Stay safe - don't give out my details, and meet where my brother can hang around in the background, but leap at the same time. Yes, definitely leap. Yes, definitely this time say yes. Ahhhh.
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